Saturday, November 26, 2005

Scared and Scarred

After boredom time before work I was Shmushing (technical term for not very much) on tinternet. I was on the lovley weebls when I wondered why there wasnt any more Salad Fingers. I went to the site and lo and behold there was nummer 6. Basically I sent this email to weebl

Get Salad fingers on ur site cos i had to watch toaster boy to find it.

Toaster boy is more disturbing than SF and is not for Lexie..... Or Steve..... Or Dave

Or me.

Its too dark n scary, watch it and tell me what happens, I didnt watch.

Please, don't watch episode -2, just don't, I'm going to cry now.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

My Cynicism Detector melted down last week...

Good News: I'm not going to Southampton on the first of december, so i can be there when we smuggle Aleh into college.
Bad News: I'm not Oxford material. Apparently. Just because of my general background, exremely dark past and the fact that I know sweet FA about my subject makes me a doubtful entry. Ah well...shit happens I guess. If my cynicism detector was working, I'd say I was aiming too high. If I listen to my's still an uphill struggle to ge admitted to Oxford.

Meanwhile...I managed to think of quite a cheery joke whilst on the phone to Aleh while Peter André and Jordan were singing. Jordan was by far the better singer.

The Scene: Two mates are on a golf course, one carrying a large black briefcase
-"That's an interesting suitcase, what's inside it?"
-"It's my assassination gear, I'm a hitman for the mafia"
-"Really? You're a hitman...let's see!"
Upon opening the briefcase, there was the sniper rifle, telescopic sights, liaser guidance, bipod, anti-anxiety tranquilizers, flask of coffee....the works...
-"Can I have a look through the sights?"
-"Yeah, sure"
_" ca see everything through here, the priest's pornographic calendar in his office, the stash of cocaine for Kate Moss's next visit at the Arts Centre...and I can see my house too, and my wife in the bedroom window. Wait a that that c*nt from next door? Yeah...and they're stripping...erm [Friend's Name] how muc do you charge?"
-"One Thousand pounds per shot"
-"Okay, I want her shot through the had, and him through the balls"
The hitman sets up his gear, aims and takes sight...then moves slightly, aims again...and moves again before sitting perfectly still. To the impatatience of his friend/client.
-"Come on, shoot already!! Why are you stalling?!"
-"Patience, I'm trying to save you a grand here...."


Thursday, November 10, 2005

I Know You Know...

I hardly call it peer pressure, but I've decided to reward Lexie with contributorship to the blog, by various conditions that will prevent any mentioning or post-making about pidgeons, possums or kitties. I would normally say something mildly amusing here. But I lack the incentive to bother probably has something to with the work. Bastards.

ECPA (A for Apathy) Dai

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Jump in the fire!

Well i had a great bonfire last night. It was flamey. Twas a very huge wooden structure that burned quickly, in a bit im gonna go check the ashes for cool bits of twisted metal and glass.

There was much beer of many kinds and wer gonna have to throw some parties to get rid of the stuff thats left. Also all the punch that dad made has been drunk, its delicous! The food was also top notch, thousands of sausages from cosco, they sound dodgy but they were gorgeous! i packed like 5 into a sandwich with lotsa tomato smush!

The fireworks were amazing, no big feck-off rockets but lots of swirls and colours and intriguing patterns that were "ooo"-worthy.

Now ppl are awake and most of the guests who had the nerve to stay over have left (apart from my Lexie thankfully) an im checking out blog and bus times on tinternet.

Lexies party on fri night was FANT-ASS-TIC lol but DAVE i reckon you can give Lexie one more present, let her have a position as a Contributor (ye i know shes a girl but shes been good LOL) so she can make posts on this wonderous blog and shes not just a... 'groupie' or watever you called her. Cos shes been here from more or less the begining.

So, two things to do

1) Cry about how u didnt come to my amazing bonfire

2)Strike up a riot if lexie doesnt get her Contributorship by the end of next week.

PS lexie didnt tell me to write this!......... She just helped me with the big words.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Lex's 18th!!'s Lexie's party tmr. Which will be graced by the presence of all members of the ECPA collective. well, myself and Josh, the foundations members, and our fantastic and respective supporting acts Aleh and Lexie herself!
In addition to that, I shall be offering my house as an inn of some sorts...but you must adhere to the following house rules of mine:

  • No rude comments about decoration
  • No thieving of prized possessions
  • No dishes left in the sink
  • No graffiti on the toilet doors
  • No kicking of my cat
  • No setting fire to my friends/parents
  • No sharing of my toiletries or girlfriend
  • No selling the house while I'm out, or passed out
  • No disrespectful criticism of me. In general.
  • No Chavs

So there be my house rules if the after party goes on. If not...well, Lexie's party is gonna rock anyway. Until we cause international incidents. Here's to drinking!!